I'm Simon Haynes, programmer and author. Welcome to my website.

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The Hal Spacejock Series (Teen/Adult)


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New Release!


H2 2018




AFL - Men hitting each other


Aussie Rules Football is a skilled game with fearless men who can propel a ball over long distances, subdue hardened players with a gesture and run for kilometre after kilometre without tiring... and that's just the umpires. (There are three umpires on the ground at AFL games, plus an emergency umpire whose only job is to run onto the ground and break up fights.) There's usually an odd-shaped ball on the ground somewhere, but it's often incidental to the action.

There are sixteen teams in the Australian Football League (AFL for short), and it's such an even competition that when any two teams meet there is no certainty as to the outcome. Witness the popularity of tipping contests, where pundits, media types and office staff across the nation try to guess the results of the 8 matches in a normal AFL weekend. Six from eight isn't uncommon, but eight from eight is Everest, the four minute mile and a lotto win all rolled into one gloriously triumphant moment. An 'eight' will be broadcast to co-workers, discussed with other parents at school while dropping off the kids and worked into a business meeting with the bank manager. And all the people you tell will be struck with the same envy.