I'm Simon Haynes, programmer and author. Welcome to my website.

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What do I write?

The Hal Spacejock Series (Teen/Adult)


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New Release!


H2 2018



A Butt of Heads

Ebook :






The Robot vs Dragons series of fantasy comedy novels by Simon Haynes


1. A Portion of Dragon and Chips (Jul/Aug 2018)


2. A Butt of Heads (Aug/Sept 2018)


3. A Pair of Nuts on the Throne (Sept/Oct 2018)




Those dark, gritty, fantasy series would be much better with a large dollop of humour. Here's the dollop!


Description to come.

Featuring Clunk - the beloved robot from the Hal Spacejock series - as well as the oddball protagonists from The Desolator, this novel promises to bring you the biggest laughs of the year.

If you'd like a taste of what's in store, grab a copy of The Desolator here.

Join my mailing list for a regular newsletter with progress reports on this series! As a bonus you'll get a free audiobook narrated by Simon Haynes.




FAQ (Updated June 2018)

Where did you get the idea for this madness?
April 2018. April 1st, to be exact. I put together a joke cover for the book and announced it on social media. Within three hours I realised I was going to have to to write it.

Can't you just write more Hal Spacejock?
I will, after this one. Hal Spacejock 9: Max Damage is already planned. In fact, I have Hal Spacejock novels planned all the way up to #22, but that's too scary to contemplate.

Will Hal Spacejock and Clunk appear in this novel?
Are you kidding? Clunk is the STAR of this novel! As for Hal ... who knows?



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