Did you bring the salt?

A creaky old robot shows up in a backward, medieval kingdom, promptly triggering all-out war. It's elves versus humans, humans versus dwarves, and pretty much everyone versus the goblins.

Now the rusty robot is being pulled from all sides by competing kingdoms. They each want a piece of him... literally.

At least there are no dragons to worry about, because they've been boned, filleted and barbecued to the brink of extinction. Hey, it's their own fault for being delicious.

Throw in a wizard with pockets full of mysterious herbs, a murderous halfling with a hair-trigger temper, and a barbarian who'd rather bed the nearest princess than wield his other mighty sword.

This crazed, epic trilogy torches high fantasy, skewers low fantasy, and really barbecues those yummy dragons.

Trivia:

Early in 2018 I posted an April Fool's joke claiming I was going to publish a medieval fantasy satire called 'A Game of Clunks'.
Within half an hour, I'd had such a huge response that I promised to actually write the novel.
It turned out to be such a massive undertaking that I released it as three full-length novels (roughly 80,000 words each.)
The entire trilogy was written in three months.


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The Dragon and Chips series

"Imagine if Terry Pratchett wrote Game of Thrones"